Vlog 8/16

Youtube always chooses the derpiest faces for their lead in image. I want to learn how to do covers, if anyone knows how to do that.
So, in this video I do a sketchbook walkthrough of my fashion design sketch book, and almost got rain. But the rain held out for me! I also tried a new angle for my camera. I dunno.

Please like this and share it?

Fanart Friday Post IV

Taichi and Yamato (Digimon Adventure)

Summer 2000

Coloured Pencil, Watercolours

I love the "friendship" between Taichi and Yamato in the various Digimon Adventure series. I believe I used some ShonenAi manga as a reference for the pose, and originally had a background poorly CG'd in, as was the style at the time.

Recently, when rescanning the piece in, I decided to give it a nice sunset watercolour background.

Vlog 8/03

Hey guys! I made another Vlog in which I talk about how I learned to art.

It's interesting how society tells us what we have to do, what we're "supposed" to do. But I've learned there is no such thing. The path you are on is YOUR OWN path, a journey unique just to you.
Just because others may not agree with it doesn't make it wrong, and stepping off your unique path is harmful to both you the rest of the world.

Do what is right for you, learn the lessons the way you need to learn them, but always be true to yourself.

Art Post VII: "Doll Parts"

"Doll Parts"
Winter 2009
Ink, Oil Pastels, String



I was having an existential crisis, and realized at the core of all my problems was myself. Thus came the idea of a puppet blind to pulling their own strings.

Art Post VI: "Untitled"

"Untitled"
Winter 2009
Oil Pastels
I think I intended to use this as a background, and for whatever reason, never did. (Sometimes, I will draw backgrounds on a seprate paper, and then paste in the foreground.)
People seem to like when I draw flowers, so I share this with you. 

Fanart Friday Post III

Hikari and Takeru (Digimon Adventure)
2000
Multimedia

This is so old, I don't remember quite all the materials used. This is one of my most popular pieces on deviantart.
Around this time, I was quite the Digimon Adventure fan, and drew a lot of fan art. I miss that time, it was a lot more fun and innocent.

Daily Thoughts Post 7/13

Eh, it's been a days of existential crisis, so have just been focusing on art. Which concerns me because I don't want to burn out, but at the same time, I do want to take advantage of the motivation while I have it.


This is part of something I"m currently working on, channeling feels so maybe I can work through them and move on. I need more art supplies to finish it, though. As well as everything else I have in progress.

I'm comin' back for more
Out of a black and white world
Past a shooting star
The beauty of speed...

Vlog Post 7/12/16

In which I discuss sketch books, share some progress art, and talk about GLITTER.

Art Post V: "The Royal We"

"The Royal We"
Winter 2009
Oil Pastels, Watercolours
It was a weird time in my life, which is why there is a chunk of art from then. I was desperately trying to become a better person, some one I wasn't horrified to look at in the mirror. I knew somehow, being clean from drugs and alcohol was part of it. I just couldn't figure out how or if I was even worth saving from the bottom of the rabbit hole.
It's a battle I still struggle with, all these years later. 


When I was finishing this, my boyfriend at the time insulted it. I realize now it was a projection of his own insecurities about his own art, but it led to me to putting away art until well after we broke up. Though, I am proud to say, ironically, this ended up being the first piece of art I ever sold.

Fanart Friday Post II

Chi (Chobits)
2003
Prism Colour Marker


I'm not sure I was ever that much a fan of Chobits, but I did used to really like CLAMP. My oldest friends LOVED the series, so I would make fanart with her in mind. Drawing the ears is fu.

Art Post IV: "Spark"

"Spark"
March 2009
watercolour marker, acrylic paint
This is a heavy subject matter, but I feel like that's how it goes for my work. This was an experiment to convey the emotion with limited colours.
Back in 2007,  I was involved with some one and I was pretty reckless. I was in a bad place, it was during 3 year period of my worst drinking. I didn't care much about living so much as to feel something, anything by any means necessary.
Well, when you're not careful, things happen. I had a choice to make, but before I could, before I could even tell the person I was involved with... a choice was made for me.
That really affected me, and the feelings would hit me every year around the same time when I would smell the flowers that would remind me of the person I was involved with. So what was I do to do? 
To process the feelings, to finally move on, I did it the only way I knew how- to create something beautiful and tragic. And now here it is, for you.

Daily Thoughts Post 7/06

So I've decided to go in a bit of a different direction with the Daily Sketch Posts. The book used for it is too small to flesh out ideas, so I'm often left frustrated and unmotivated to do anything. However, I've found posting semi-daily on a blog is something I do enjoy.
Inspired by The Gothic Alice, I think I'll go back to a sketch book structure I had about a decade ago. Here, I'll share random things from my day- maybe ticket stubs from events or a flower I found. I'm excited.

Today, I wanted to post a photo with my cat because she's a great teacher about gratitude and appreciating the important people in your life. She doesn't ask for food from me or anything absurd, just that I spend time with her. In turn, she lets me know I'm her favourite person in the world and that she thinks I'm awesome. <3 br="">

Daily Sketch Post 7/05

Well, it's been a bit since I did one of these. Meant to do one yesterday, but got distracted working on a few pieces.
This was because I had been discussing doing something to share with people how I have been eating mostly gf and vegan on a budget for over two years now. 

Anyway, I'm starting to really fall in love with my art, wanting to run home to it like a lover.

This one was a forgotten sketch from Winter 2009... I saw it yesterday and meant to just ink it, but felt compelled to get it to this point. It's almost finished now. 

This one was from November 2015, and I kept meaning to get back to it, but life has been rough. But yay now I'm working on it!

I'm eager to finish these pieces and share their stories with you! 

Art Post III: "Heavy in Your Arms"

"Heavy In Your Arms"
Winter 2009
Watercolour

It's an interesting challenge to only use red and still convey the emotions. I want to do a show where the theme is paintings in red, white, and black someday soon.

People often expect me to fit in these roles they create in their head for me to play, and when they get bored or I fail to meet expectations, I am often discarded like a doll that is no longer a child's favourite. So I smile and say it's fine.

But it's not fine. I'm so much more than some child's play thing. I long for that feeling of unconditional love- not the love of a child, but the love of a parent. But for now, I'm just too much, too heavy a burden.

"I was a heavy heart to carry
My feet dragged across the ground
And he took me to the river
Where he slowly let me drown..." 

Fanart Friday Post I

Sumomo (Chobits)
2003
Prism Colour Marker

I always enjoyed the character of Sumomo, and she reminds me of myself in my more manic states.
This was so long ago, I don't remember too much about it, though last summer I did add a background... not sure why I never scanned it in, because I'm pretty sure it's framed now.

Art Post II: "Four to the Floor"

Title: "Four to the Floor"
Spring 2009
Medium: water colour, oil pastel, glitter varnish

At the time, I was into the song "Four to the Floor" by Starsailor which for some reason made me recall the dances in Swan Lake. I was also into using photos of ballerinas for references as they more conveyed the feelings I wanted in my drawings.
 
Initially, I abandoned this piece because I wasn't liking how it came out. Then a girl I was in love with was having a rough time, and I kept asking myself what more could I give her? What more? Then I saw this and was inspired to revisit it. I'm really pleased with how it came out, but disappointed that it meant nothing to her when I gave it to her.

What are your thoughts?

Daily Sketch Post 6/29

Confession: I have a form of bipolar. As an artist, this is a blessing and also a curse. Ha! Basically, I'll have a week where I am able to produce all the things and be really excited about it, and then I burn out.

I made a deal with myself that I am not allowed to do any work- pay the bills work or art or fashion, no work at all, one day a week. That is the only way I was able to bring myself to do this sketch, figuring if I just accurately draw myself trying to produce content, then at least I did something! Maybe I should have made these semi-daily to let myself off the hook?

No, routine is good for me, it's good for my mental health. So I'll do my best. Also, it's about to thunderstorm, and that always makes me want to sketch. So we'll see what happens with the rest of my day.

Daily Sketch Post 6/28

First off, she's nude because I forgot to draw clothes. Once I noticed, I decided, "Fuck it! She'll be nude, it works with the feels!"

Second off, I usually am compelled to draw when I can't express my emotions, which is um, kind of all the time. So often these daily sketches have almost a "Dear Diary" to them. (Or at least if I had been delving in all the long.) It's probably a good exercise in mental health to talk about what was going through my head, and sharing it with you allows a shared experience since emotions are rarely unique.

I learned that some one I used to be in love with got an opportunity I had last year, and saw her asking for support. At first I was angry and upset because she NEVER supported any of my creative endeavors, even after pouring what little money I had into her album that she then never did anything to write or record.
But then I realized it didn't matter. So she didn't support me. She's no longer in my life, so it doesn't even matter. What matters is now I DO have friends that love and support me.

So while the girl is alone and vulnerable, she only has to look to the stars above to see there is no such thing as being truly alone.

Daily Sketch Post 6/27

Today has been interesting, full of cautious freedom.
First, I was granted a new job. This may mean better finances, but I am concerned I may be let down as seems to be the pattern of my attempts in finding gainful employment over the last couple of years.
 
Second, I was let go from what was becoming an unhealthy situation. It's sad because I feel most of my words fell on deaf ears, but it is a lesson for me in not only setting and enforcing boundaries, but also effectively communicating expectations. It will probably be awhile before I date again, and that's okay. I think taking the time to instead develop a relationship with my art is something I should have never let myself become diverted from. (Not a result from this situation, but rather a series of unhealthy situations I allowed myself to be involved in.)

I decided to use a similar sketch to yesterday to hone in on how quickly one can go from entrapped and broken to free and repaired.

Daily Sketch Post 6/26

This is a bit more detail than I normally put into my daily sketches, but I felt the need to get how I often feel when in a relationship. Bound to the other person, with a loss of freedom.
I enjoy playing with just black, red, and white because it adds a fun challenge to still get a very deep emotional point across while having severe limitations. I decided to make her eyes red to indicate that she isn't entirely so innocent, and had her part to play in her situation, which I often find is the truth in romantic relationships, particularly unhealthy ones.

"If you offered me a passionate love affair and you offered me a high-priestess role in a fabulous castle above a cliff where I can just, like, live a very spiritual kind of religious-library-communing-with-the-stars, learning kind of existence, I’m going to go for the high priestess." - Stevie Nicks, Rolling Stone, 1997 

How do you feel in a relationship? More complete? Happy? Trapped? Please comment and share!

Art Post I: "Lady In Waiting"

Title: "Lady In Waiting"
Spring 2009
Medium: water colour

I literally have no memory of creating this piece, but I do recall the vision haunting me. I must have felt like I needed to be hiding in the shadows, as much as I wanted to be in the light.
It's actually two separate pieces that I cut and pasted together to make painting the background easier. I'm pretty excited by the results. People seemed to like the progress on this one.

What are your thoughts?